Sunday, July 17, 2011

Girls - What Message Are We Sending?

When Ariana comes to my house, I realize that I make over her more when she has a cute outfit on that I like.  And I've wondered, what kind of message am I sending her?  You are cuter because of your cute clothes?  She's the same little girl she has always been.  She just has different fabric on.  She needs to know that we value her no matter what she is wearing.

"How to Talk to Little Girls?"

What messages are we sending our daughters?


sheryl said...

I recommend this book by Danah Gresh

"Six Ways to Keep the Little in your Girl"

geared for parents of 8-12 year olds

darkfire said...

That's a good thought, and I liked the article. Dobson also adresses this concern in his book on children's confidence. He calls beauty on of the three coins of human worth, along with athleticism and smarts. We value these things so much in our society, that if you come to the conclusion that you don't have at least one of the three, it can break your self-esteem and leave you feeling worthless. But it is extremely hard not to pass on the messages that we have been hearing since we were born, that beauty, talent, and intelligence make the world go round. His suggestion was to instead base worth on character through the gospel (or at least that's what I got out of it). So you are worthwhile if you are kind, rather than worthwhile if you are pretty, and to try to send that message to our children.

brenda said...

Great article! Thank you so much! I think my girls worry about being smart more than being pretty, but I think it is almost as superficial and potentially damaging to self-esteem... As parents, don't we wish for them most of all to be happy? And doesn't being happy come from being kind and serving others? So I want to make a goal to praise those actions above all else. It's so hard to offset the world's messages about money, beauty, and power, but it's got to happen at home. And p.s. boys also get told they are cute when they are little, then all the sudden that's not supposed to matter and it's like the rug is pulled out from under them. That was my observation, anyway. Maybe we pet all little children's egos in the wrong way.