Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Am I a Plant?
I noticed a pattern a few years ago. I always have a crash in February. I mean CRASH. Some of the worst depression I have ever experienced has happened in February. Big, bad, scary!
Is this a self-fulfilling prophecy? Honestly, I've wondered that myself. Every year I convince myself that it is just a coincidence. Besides, who can be depressed in Oregon during February? This is one of the sunniest winter months. In fact, last year when I made it to the end of the month and nothing had happened, I was sure that somehow I had made up this whole thing. And then, BAM, I felt like a zombie. I had to think about getting up off the couch. I had to force myself to move. I had to think about each step forward.
I joked with my sister that maybe I had some plant gene in body and that my body was reacting to the coming of spring. I know what you're thinking - completely fruity and off the wall.
Fast forward to this year. For a week the frogs have been serenading us at night and now I see that the tulips are already 4-5 inches tall. And me? Yesterday I was so agitated that my skin felt charged. I had this feeling that if the 7yo touched me I might literally explode (her incessant chattering was having the same effect). Before the evening was over I had experienced an "ugly cry."
This morning when I let the dog outside, I saw the tulips and thought, "Yep, I'm a plant."